Entry 1: Math Life Story

Peak Experience

            Through out school, math has been the scariest subject for me.  So, it came as no surprise when I entered Calculus that I doubted myself a great deal.  As the semester began, I began to think to myself, “I am never going to get this.  I have no idea what is going on.” Later that week, I decide to go get help after school to find out exactly what I was doing wrong, and why I wasn’t able to solve the problem(s).  I’m not sure what it is about asking for help that makes me nervous, but I was timid at first to enter the instructor’s room.  Forcing myself to overcome this fear, I walked in and finally asked for help.  My instructor was glad to help, and we sat and tried to figure out what I was doing wrong, or not understanding.  After several minutes of trying to work out a problem, the instructor realized what was holding me back.  The model and explanation he had given in class was beyond my understanding.  After breaking down each step (so I could clearly see what was happening) and trying different strategies to find the answer, I began to understand the problem more and more.  Now though that was an accomplishment for me that was not the “peak” of my story.  The best part was the very next day in class we were given a Pop Quiz over the information we had just learned.  “How is that the best part?” you may ask.  Well, come to find out majority of the class did not do so well on the quiz, whereas I scored an excellent score.  That moment was one of my best moments in math because for that moment I began to realize “I could do math”, and that is very rewarding feeling me.

Nadir Experience

            Unfortunately I have experienced “low points” that have dealt towards math.  However, the “lowest point” in my life that dealt with math would have to be my sophomore year of high school.  For half a semester I dreaded going to my math class.  The saddest part is that I did not dread going because it was math, but because of the instructor.  To begin with, math was already a difficult subject for me but it was worse when the instructor made me dislike math even more.  For half a semester I was literally trying to teach math to myself.  Anytime my classmates or myself would ask for an example or explanation the instructor would either tell us to read it from the book, or work the problem out on the board without explaining.  Now, I am the type of person that needs to have things broken down, explained (sometimes twice) and shown different ways (if possible) how to solve a problem, and this instructor was NOT helping me at all.  I finally had enough of it, and had to have my parents complain about him for fear of failing.  Thankfully, my parents were not the only parents who complained.  I began going to past math instructors for help, but I had a great deal of catching up to do.  It was rough, but I was able to get through the year and pass the class.  I will never forget how I felt going to that math class.  Though this may be wrong to say (and I am sure this instructor may have been an extremely gifted instructor at another time in life), I learned what I did not want to do to my students.  Most teachers can get a feel for their students if whether or not they enjoy math or are afraid of it, and I’ve learned to try and catch those negative feelings (even my own) and try to turn them around into positive ones.  Not allowing my students to see my own fear of math, and helping them any way I can is what I want and hope to be able to do in the classroom. 

Turning Point

            I hit a “turning point” my freshman year in college.  I was taking a math class (I do not remember which one) and thought it’d be like high school, easy.  Boy was I wrong! I realized during that first part of the semester that there was much more to math than I realized.  It was at that point that I regretted not engaging myself more in math.  I should have taken more advantages with receiving help and learning more about math than what I needed to know.  It was at this point too that I had to overcome my fear for asking for help (which I still have at times). 

Other Important Scenes

            Studying for math was always difficult for me.  I remember trying to remember the steps of a problem, and working them out over and over again before a big test.  I also remember getting confused as to when I was suppose to use a certain formula and when it was not needed.  So one night before a final I decided to stay up and work out some last minute problems that were really bothering me.  I must have spent about three hours working on maybe six problems; but I was determined to remember every step there was.  That next day when I went to take my final I was extremely happy to see those six problems I had studied over and over again listed as the first six of what was a twelve-question test.  At that very moment, even though I still had the rest of the final to finish, I felt as if I could accomplish anything mathematical listed on that exam. 

            When I was younger, back in elementary school, my class would play “Around the world”.  We would practice multiplication with a partner, and then before lunch we would play the game and see who could “travel” the farthest in the classroom.  The first few times we played I never got far.  I remember sometimes feeling embarrassed or sad because I would have to sit down.  When my teacher told us we were going to play “Around the World” that week, I decided that I was going to practice at home with my mom so I could “travel” far.  When the day finally came to play, I felt like I was ready.  The game started and what do you know, I sat down early.  However, I did not let that get my hopes down and I patiently waited for another round.  When the game started again, I was so proud of myself for not sitting down early.  Yes, I did sit down but I had made it the farthest I’d ever gotten. 

  

Greatest Challenge

            My greatest challenge in math has been trying to over come my fear of math.  I guess I really haven’t dealt with this challenge besides telling myself that I can get through it.  I get frustrated easily when I cannot do something right, and in return that just pushes my confidence level lower and lower.  Past instructors have tried to boost my confidence by encouraging me, and showing different strategies to help me.  This challenge is a great impact because anytime I hear “math” or see “math” I automatically get tense and put myself down (even though I know I shouldn’t).

Special Education Teacher

            Throughout my life I have always worked with children.  From catechism teaching to music and tutoring, I have always enjoyed working with younger children and seeing them light up and get excited when they have finally accomplished their goal.  However, when I entered college my choice or career was marine biology, NOT teaching.  After a few courses in that major and a couple of summers at home working with children, I realized that marine biology may not have been the major for me.  Finally, after talking with my parents I realized that some of my happiest moments when working with children was when I was working with my peers (who were physically challenged) and watching/helping my mom in the special education room at school.  Helping students overcome any obstacle they have in front of them is very rewarding for both them and me. 

            When teaching mathematics to my students, I want to show them that I am confident not only confident in them learning it, but I also have confident in myself teaching it.  Math should not be a subject in school students fear (as I did), but rather a positive subject that they can feel confident in learning, doing, and succeeding.